


An Unexpected Bunny Suit

by Moonraykir



Series: The Silliest Modern AU [1]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Easter, Easter Bunny, Easter Eggs, Embarrassing Costumes, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Humor, Romantic Fluff, kiliel - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-01
Updated: 2018-04-01
Packaged: 2019-04-16 13:28:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14165850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moonraykir/pseuds/Moonraykir
Summary: When Fíli and Kíli fight over who has to be the Easter Bunny for the church picnic, Tauriel wins.





	An Unexpected Bunny Suit

**Author's Note:**

> For [ThatOtherWriterGirl,](https://www.fanfiction.net/u/7021242/) who agreed that Durin boys in bunny suits ala _A Christmas Story_ was too funny to pass up. :)

"When I told Mum I would help with the church Easter egg hunt, I didn't realize it would involve _this_."

Glancing up from the grill he was lighting, Kíli took a few moments to process what Fíli was holding up. It looked like a shaggy bathrobe. A pink bathrobe. With ears.

"Did you kill a Care Bear?" Kíli asked.

Sif, Fíli's wife, snickered behind him. "It's the Easter Bunny."

"It's pink," Tauriel added at the same moment.

"I know it's bloody pink," Fíli grumbled. "Apparently the pink fur was on sale. You know Mum can't resist sale fabric."

"Did she get my viking tunic finished?" Kíli cut in. "While she was busy dressing you up as delirium tremens, she didn't forget I want it for the festival opening next weekend, I hope?"

Fíli nodded distractedly, clearly less concerned by Kíli's renaissance festival garb concerns when he had his own costuming crisis. "Yeah, she's just finishing the embroidery on it," he said morosely.

"Fíli," Sif said sweetly. "You should try it on. There's time before the burgers go on the grill."

"Yeah, Fí, we want to see," Kíli prompted with a grin that he knew was not at all sympathetic.

His brother heaved a sigh. "Fine. But don't you dare laugh."

It was just as well that Kíli hadn't made any promises, because the bunny suit was twice as ridiculous when Fíli had it on. It had a pudgy, padded belly and large cartoony paws, a full and fluffy hood, and enormous ears poised like cheerful antennae.

Kíli laughed so hard he had to slump weakly into a deck chair. "Oh lord," he gasped. "It's incredible. You look like…" Another fit of laughter interrupted him. "Like…"

"Like?" Fíli prompted, shooting his brother a murderous look.

"Shut up, Kíli," Sif put in, though her voice was not entirely steady either. "I think he looks sweet. Turn around?"

Fíli rolled his eyes, but did as his wife requested, revealing a very large, very fluffy white tail attached to a bunny's well-padded hind end.

"You need to lay off the Cadbury creme eggs," Tauriel said. "You're getting tubby."

"Very funny." Fíli spun back around. His expression was truly gloomy.

"Oh, come on, dear," Sif soothed. "It's just for one day, and the kids will love it."

"Yeah, just make sure you wear a mask or you'll scare them with that grumpy mug," Kíli added brightly.

"If you think it's so great, why don't you wear it?" Fíli asked, gratefully accepting a beer from Sif.

"Oh yes, Kíli, you should," Tauriel seconded. Her eyes sparkled with mirth. "You'd be even more adorable. I'd paint your face for you. Please, Kíli?"

"Oh no. Pink's not really my color. But you could wear it."

Tauriel shook her head. "I already volunteered to serve refreshments. Besides, I wouldn't be half so cute." She gave him a pleading look.

Kíli sighed. Eight months of marriage to Tauriel hadn't left him any more able to resist her pretty face. Besides, he supposed dressing up would leave him the perfect opportunity to give her the gift he had planned.

"Oh, all right," he said.

"It's an Easter miracle!" Fíli cried.

* * *

After clearing away paper plates, cups, and all the candy wrappers that littered the outdoors pavilion, Tauriel stepped out under one of the flowering plum trees to watch as Kíli helped to herd the last few screaming, sugar-fueled children into a minivan. She smiled as he turned back to her.

"You were fantastic," she told him. "You're always so good with the kids. Mrs. Bowman was already saying she's going to ask if you'll reprise the role next year."

"Maybe." He grinned at her. "Heavens, this suit is an oven, though. My leather and mail on the hottest day of the faire is positively breezy in comparison." He tugged off the furry gloves, then pushed back the hood, dislodging a tumble of damp bangs.

"Poor Kíli." She put her arms around his neck and leaned close, till her nose was pressed against his. "But I was right: you are very cute."

He nuzzled against her, then kissed her lips.

"Oops," he said as he pulled away. The black paint of the bunny's nose and whiskers was smeared, and Tauriel supposed the rest was on her own face.

He placed a few plastic eggs in her hand. "The Easter Bunny hasn't forgotten about you," he said.

"Oh?" She held up an egg, which had been marked with a very energetic T in black marker.

"Didn't want these to get mixed up with the rest," Kíli explained.

Tauriel flashed him a curious glance before cracking open an orange egg.

A piece of butter yellow silk fell out. Lifting it, Tauriel found it was a pair of panties, trimmed in spring green lace.

"Kíli." She gave him a teasing smile. "You _are_ sweet."

Popping open the second egg, she found it held the same, though in sky blue silk and cream lace.

"I love you," she said, and tugged him back for another kiss, not caring how much more of his face paint found its way onto her cheeks.

"There are matching camisoles, but they wouldn't fit in the eggs," he said.

"I'll have to try them on later."

"Mm, hmm. It's only fair that you get an Easter costume, too."

She gave him a mischievous look, brow raised.

A look of slight alarm crossed his face. "Oh, no! Don't even think it. I'm not wearing this!"

**Author's Note:**

> Sif is Fíli’s girl from my longer fics set in Middle-earth, _So Comes Snow After Fire_ and _Spring After Winter and Sun on the Leaves._
> 
> My modern AU headcanon lately is that Fíli and Kíli work in their uncle’s family blacksmith business. Tauriel and Sif met them because they all are into costuming and historical reenactment. Thorin has a demo booth at their local renaissance festival, so they work there on the weekends. Maybe I’ll write more of this AU some time, since I have a few little one-shot ideas that might be fun.


End file.
